You discover that your worth is not entwined with whether or not you are in a relationship and who your mate is. You discover that dating is a process rather than your salvation. Through this process, you learn and grow. It allows you to just get to know somebody while maintaining boundaries, meeting your own needs and desires. Although this might be contrary to your inclinations, the benefit is that it takes pressure and expectations off the first date. Set a time limit for yourself (let’s say three or six months) for dating multiple people at once and keep firm to your limit.
You can date multiple people at a time, just be sure to be open and honest with your dates that you are not ready to make any commitments yet. Date people who have your hobbies and interests and those with completely different ones. Date younger people, older people, people your age. Go places where other single people go, walk your dog in the dog park, sign up for an online dating service, ask friends to set you up. Keep your mind open to many possibilities! Try new things and challenge yourself to leave your comfort zone.
Dating helps reveal who we like and are compatible with.
Henry Cloud challenges cultural notions about dating and offers realistic advice in his book “Finding a Date Worth Keeping.” Cloud asserts that casual dating is crucial to the process of finding a mate because it helps you learn what your true needs and wants are in a relationship through trial and error.
A healthier, more practical perspective of dating is that it is a time for meeting new people, having fun, and opening yourself up to new experiences.ĭr. Our culture condones serial monogamy, treating dating as a sort of “trial run” for marriage. It starts with unraveling many preconceived cultural notions and ideals about dating. Perhaps you feel disillusioned with the dating game, keep repeating the same cycle in your dating life, are attracted to the wrong type of guy or girl, or feel just plain tired of waiting for “the one.” You want dating to be different this time around, but aren’t quite sure how or where to start. Written by Tessa Torgeson in collaboration with Clarity CounselingĪfter cultivating self-love, you might feel ready to begin dating.
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